


Biding My Time

by Lunamionny



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Deception, F/M, Fairest of the Rare's Sing Me A Rare, Post-Hogwarts, Post-War, Quidditch, Rare Pairings, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 20:28:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20494841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunamionny/pseuds/Lunamionny
Summary: It’s always the quiet ones. Isn’t that what they say? The quiet ones that sit, calm and timid, whilst hiding a raging thunder, or else a ruthless cunning, inside of them.Well Padma supposed, in her case, that was true.She'd been biding her time. But when she finally acts, Padma finds herself caught in a tangled web of her own lies, irrevocably entwined in her own, deceitful silk...





	Biding My Time

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sing-Me-A-Rare Volume 4. Much love to my beta, ABrighterDarkness.  
Song Prompt - Secretly - Skunk Anansie - Cruel Intentions  
Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, and Warner Bros. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
> The words in italics at the beginning of some sections are lyrics from Secretly by Skunk Anansie. 
> 
> Let's imagine that Cedric Diggory did not die in the graveyard at Little Hangleton. Let's imagine Harry brought Cedric's body back broken, bruised and used, and only just having escaped the clutches of death. But having escaped it nonetheless. (But this is not The Cursed Child. Other than the above, this is canon up until the end of The Deathly Hallows.)

It’s always the quiet ones. Isn’t that what they say? The quiet ones that sit, apparently calm and timid, whilst a raging thunder, or else a ruthless cunning, stirs inside them.

Well, Padma supposed, in her case, that was true.

It had only meant to be for one night - the lie, the deception. One night - she’d thought it would be enough. Enough to sate her desire for him, to quell the frustrating longing that had simmered in the shadows of her heart for years. But the problem, of course, was that it wasn’t just desire and longing she’d felt for him. She didn't admit until too late that what she felt was love.

A powerful, determined, intoxicating love.

* * *

_ I've been biding my time / Been so subtly kind / I've got to think so selfishly / 'Cause you're the face inside of me _

It was ironic, really, that Parvati unwittingly gave Padma the idea in the first place, one morning in the _ Pumpkin and Pastries _ café, where they met for their weekly catch-ups. 

"So, I broke up with Cedric," Parvati declared, flicking cascades of curls over her shoulder. The action, like most things Parvati did, was done with a restrained vanity, a subtle awareness of her own beauty and appeal. 

She made the statement triumphantly, as if she'd achieved some kind of social victory. Padma's insides twisted and she had to bite back the first, unfiltered words that came to her mind. The news Parvati had imparted caused a complex set of reactions in Padma which she needed to process before she spoke. Firstly, the very mention of Cedric set her heart stuttering. Secondly, she felt a jolt of concern - was Cedric okay, or had Parvati broken yet another heart? Thirdly, she felt the need to know every single detail of the break-up. And lastly, there was the kindling of something bitterly familiar in the pit of Padma's stomach: hope.

Padma didn't let any of this show, of course. She had never told her twin about her true feelings for Cedric Diggory. She was adept in shuttering all her thoughts and feelings away from the outside world if she needed to; she pressed them all down like a tightly coiled spring. Because letting others know how you truly felt, when they could exploit it, made you vulnerable. Padma's face remained expressionless.

"Oh? How come?" she asked, trying to sound indifferent. She thought she just about managed it but this was her twin, someone who knew her tells more than anyone. Except for maybe Luna. 

There was a giggle to Parvati's left and Padma reluctantly flicked her eyes to the mass of pink textiles, blonde highlights and cherry lip balm that was Lavender Brown, her twin's fifth limb. The fact that Parvati nearly always brought Lavender along to their meet-ups was a constant irritant to Padma_. _

Parvati shared a conspiratorial smirk with her best friend before turning back to her sister. Clearly, Lavender had heard ‘the break-up’ story already, possibly more than once and no doubt in minute detail.

Parvati smiled patronisingly. "He just got so _ serious _. I just wanted something fun, something casual, and I thought that's what we had but he made it clear his feelings for me went far deeper than that. It wouldn't have been fair for me to continue it."

"How very noble of you," Padma let the sarcasm drip from her voice. It never ceased to amaze her how someone she shared the same DNA with - they were _identical_ twins after all - was so very different from her. Parvati's eyes shifted warily; she no doubt sensed Padma's disdain.

"Tell her what he said - specifically," Lavender urged, nudging Parvati's arm and grinning impishly.

"Well...we were in bed together, Sunday morning just gone, just...chilling out." Another giggle from Blonde Highlights interrupted Parvati's tale. Lavender always took delight in euphemisms. "When...he said something that kind of killed it - killed the excitement of _ us_."

"What did he say?" Padma asked uncertainly, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.

"'I love you'. He killed it with 'I love you.'"

It felt like someone had punched Padma right in the gut. The room seemed to swim around her. Cedric was in love with her sister. Their relationship had ended, but he no doubt still loved her. He loved her and had told her so. But Parvati, who always relished the thrill of the chase, often got bored with her pray once she'd so successfully caught them in her trap. 

"Are you okay, sis?" Parvati frowned, sincere concern evident in her eyes. Seeing the look on her sister’s face, Padma felt a sudden wave of nostalgia for her childhood. For when she and Parvati would run and play in the woods near their home and Parvati would always worry when Padma tripped and scraped her knee.

"Fine," Padma replied, stoic as always. "Just got a bit dizzy."

"Drink more," Parvati commanded, gesturing to her twin's tea. Padma dutifully took her cup and tried to focus on the smooth feel of porcelain in her hands.

"So you broke up with a guy because he told you he loved you," Padma summarised. "Had you told him you only wanted something casual?"

"Well...I didn't think I had to...he's a pro-Quidditch player, one of the _ lads_, I honestly thought he wouldn't want anything serious, that we were just seeing how things went..."

"You were dating for three months, you're both in your early twenties, you were meeting him - what - three, four times a week? You let him buy you dinner and drinks and dresses. To most people, that would indicate things were going somewhere," Padma tried to stop her anger invading her tone.

"Pads, stop being so _ serious_. This is the way these things go sometimes...you just have no idea - because - well -" Parvati looked Padma up and down despairingly. In contrast to Parvati's flowing locks, immaculate make-up and excellently fitted summer dress, Padma's hair was tied back in a rough plait and she was wearing jeans and a baggy jumper she'd hurriedly donned before leaving her flat. "When are you going to stop looking like a twenty-three-year-old dressed as a fifty-year-old?"

The verbal knives Parvati threw at Padma had blunted somewhat over the years, but she still felt them. 

"So what game were you playing this time? Or have you started to use people and spit them out when you're finished with them, just for fun?" This time, Padma made no effort to stop the vitriol spilling into her words.

Parvati frowned. "Pads, don't make me out to have such cruel intentions -" 

"Tell her what he said next - after you said you should break up," Lavender piped up gleefully. Parvati looked awkward and hesitated.

"What?" Padma asked sharply. "What did he say?"

Parvati signed resignedly. "When I said we should probably break-up because I didn't feel the same way about him, Cedric suggested we carry things on but in a purely casual way - like fuck buddies. I said 'no' of course. I'm aware you think I have no conscience, but I know that wouldn't have been right. I told him we probably shouldn't be in touch for a bit. No meet-ups, no owls," Parvati's voice turned soft and thoughtful. "He should be by himself for a bit, to help him get over it." 

Lavender let out a shrill laugh. "He's so desperate for you, Par," she drawled derisively. Padma had an involuntary impulse to spit in Lavender's pumpkin juice and force the girl to drink it. Her wand hand twitched and she saw Parvati’s eyes flick towards it, noticing. 

"Well, anyway," Parvati said dismissively. "There's something else I need to speak to you about, Pads. Lav, do you mind if I talk to Padma on her own for a bit?"

Lavender looked a little put-out but mumbled an agreement and took her juice to the other side of the café. Parvati looked around furtively and cast a Muffliato before leaning across the table conspiratorially.

"I have to go away for a bit," Parvati whispered. "Harry and Draco have some top secret mission, starting in a few days. I have to go with them." In the few years since the war ended, Parvati had managed to bag herself a job as a PA to two of the most well-known and respected young Aurors in the country.

"Where to?" Padma asked, curiosity stirring in her, along with concern. She hoped Parvati wasn't going to be put in any danger. She often disliked her twin, yes, but she still loved her.

"They haven't told me. I won't know until we leave. But I know it's for at least three months, maybe longer. And it needs to look like I'm still around - they'd prefer it to appear as if we haven't gone away at all, to ensure the mission remains as secret as possible. So...could you flat-sit for me? Just stay there every few days...make it look like I'm still there, or move in if you want, whatever suits you. I've told Lav I'm going to be super busy with work so won't be able to see her for a bit, and mum and dad don't know either. I thought it's obviously best if you do the flat-sitting because, if the neighbours or concierge see you coming and going, they'll assume it's me?"

Parvati lived on her own in a newly renovated flat in Shoreditch. It would hardly inconvenience Padma to do what her sister asked and if it meant that, by helping Parvati, she was indirectly helping an important Auror mission, Padma was more than happy to flat-sit. "Of course," she agreed. 

"Thanks," Parvati smiled in relief. "I knew you'd help me out. Besides, it's not like I'm asking you to _ be me _ for three months!"

Parvati's last words dropped like a stone in the well of Padma's mind and took a second or so to reach the bottom. But when they did, Padma was struck with an idea too seductive to dismiss, despite the ripples that spread from it, ripples that had the potential to contaminate all those they reached. 

* * *

_ I've been biding my days, you see / Evidently it pays / I've been a friend with unbiased views / Then secretly lust after you _

Cedric Diggory had become the heart-throb of Hogwarts long before his name was pulled out the Goblet of Fire. Tall, handsome, a Prefect and Quidditch captain, he ticked all the boxes needed for most of the girls - and some of the boys - in school to simper and sigh in his wake. But it wasn't any of these things that led a young Padma to develop a consuming crush on the boy. What attracted Padma to him were the qualities that weren't recognised so much by the rest of the student body: humility, sincerity, integrity. And, of course, a resolute kindness. 

During her first term of Hogwarts, an eleven-year-old Padma had been deliberately pushed over on her way out the Great Hall by Millicent Bulstrode and Daphne Greengrass. Padma's books went skidding across the flagstones, and a jinx from Millicent meant her skirt flew up at her waist, displaying Padma's skinny legs and white cotton knickers to most of the school sat eating their breakfast.

As Millicent and Daphne laughed mercilessly, Cedric, who had just been exiting the hall, put an immediate stop to it. Not with a counter-jinx, but with scathing words and the authority given to those who were respected and popular. The two Slytherin girls had blushed and scuttled away sheepishly. Padma had never forgotten Cedric's kind smile, the brightness of his eyes and the touch of his skin as he handed back her dropped books.

In her third year, Padma watched with horror as Dementors made Harry Potter plummet through the sky and land with a thud on the grass of the Quidditch pitch. She kept watching with admiration as Cedric, who had caught the snitch, offered to replay the match. Honest, fair and hardworking - Cedric embodied all the tenets of his house and so much more besides. After that, whilst her housemates screamed themselves hoarse at Quidditch matches, Padma silently cheered for Hufflepuff. Or rather, one particular Hufflepuff. From afar, she learnt that he loved his parents, that he excelled in Transfiguration as well as flying, that he comforted homesick first years.

During her fourth year, Padma considered acting on her affections - should she ask him out? Start flirting? How could she assure he even knew she _ existed_? But then Cedric began dating Cho Chang. Padma had always liked Cho, so of course she didn't want to interfere with their relationship. And Cedric would not want her anyway, even if he knew who she was - not plain, shy, swotty Padma Patil. 

She was not surprised his name came out of the Goblet of Fire. It was supposed to choose the best of them, and it had. Loyal, kind, strong and just - the accolades went on. And they were all deserved. 

When Harry brought Cedric's body back from the Little Hangleton graveyard, broken, bruised and used, despair had clutched at Padma's heart. The Death Eaters had played with Cedric's body and made Harry watch; Voldemort had thought it would cause more pain for Harry to look on helplessly while 'the spare' was tortured rather than kill Cedric outright. And he'd been right.

Relief hit Padma like a wave when she heard Cedric had escaped death. She meticulously followed his six month recovery from a distance, making use of Cho's connections and any information she could glean from the papers. She owled a get well card to his bed at St Mungo's, along with a selection of healing potions she'd brewed. She assumed her gift would go unnoticed amongst the numerous other bequeaths Cedric would no doubt receive from his growing fan base, but she sent it nonetheless.

His celebrity grew after that, of course, much like Harry Potter's did, but then war started stirring. In the years following Cedric's graduation, he became a respected and valued member of the Order of the Phoenix. In Padma's seventh year, when the Carrows' reign of Hogwarts made the air of the castle thick with fear and paranoia, Padma had stepped into Hermione's shoes as the brains of Dumbledore's Army.

The fact that she was the best at Disillusionment and Repelling Charms meant she was the one chosen to escort the escapee students to Hogsmeade. In the dark of the night, she would help get the students - whose parents had made their way onto the Ministry's 'Undesirable List' - safely from the castle to the agreed meeting spot in the village. Once there, they were met by Cedric, the best flyer the Order had. Flying was the safest way out of Hogsmeade - it couldn't be monitored or tracked like Floo-ing, Apparating or Port-keying was. Cedric's quiet courage, steady calm and reassuring smile made his charges instantly feel safe under his care. He was nearly always successful in getting them to the safe house unharmed.

During those furtive, secret meetings, a friendship developed between Cedric and Padma. A friendship based on a mutual respect for the way they were both fighting a war neither had asked for, and on the sharing of the precarious and uncertain circumstances they'd found themselves in.

And it all meant that Padma fell for Cedric even more.

But still, even with burgeoning friendship between them, Padma did not make a move. She never showed her true feelings because there was a war being fought, she told herself, and war was not a time or place for romance to blossom. She couldn’t waste her energy on such frivolities.

After Voldemort finally fell and Padma graduated, she trained in healing. She told herself her decision to specialise in Sports Healing and seek a placement with the Wimbourne Wasps Quidditch team had nothing to do with the fact that Cedric Diggory was, by then, one of the teams rising stars. After working with the team for a year, and spending time with Cedric during work socials and training, Padma finally decided that she had no more excuses - she would finally make a move.

But on the same morning as Padma had solidified her resolve to ask her childhood crush for a drink, Parvati had told her excitedly over tea at _ Pumpkins and Pastries _ that she had "started dating Cedric Diggory." The words had dropped like a lead balloon in Padma's stomach.

She'd gone home and cried non-stop for four hours whilst Luna cuddled with her on the sofa of their flat. Terry and Anthony finally forced her out of the flat after two days of hibernation and Padma had pushed down her wretchedness and despair and, as always, carried on. 

* * *

_ You want to do someone else / So you should be by yourself / Instead of here with me / Secretly _

That had been three months ago. Now, a few days after her twin had left for the Aurors' secret mission, Padma looked into her full length mirror and scrutinised the reflection of Parvati that stared back at her.

She hadn't had to use many Transfiguration Spells, just one to banish and conjure freckles in the right places, and another to change the two small scars she had gotten during the Battle of Hogwarts into the longer one that Parvati had acquired across her right shoulder. Those, a Gloss Charm on her hair, make-up and the right clothes - a figure-hugging, thigh-high black dress she had found in Parvati's wardrobe - were enough for the transformation to look more than convincing. 

Finally satisfied, Padma Apparated to just outside _The_ _Witching Hour, _a club nestled in the lane between Knockturn and Diagon Alley. She winked coyly at the doorman, who nodded at her in acknowledgment and let her straight in the club despite the long queue. Parvati knew the doormen intimately and never queued.

The club was dim, with disorientating flashing lights, which would work in Padma’s favour. She sauntered to the bar, making sure to stand tall and sway her hips in the exact way Parvati did. She responded to the greetings that came her way - "Hey, Parvati", "Good to see you, Par"' - with a confident smile. Cormac McLaggen offered to buy her a drink and Padma let him, because Parvati always would.

She asked for a 'voodoo vodka' cocktail because she could drink it quickly and it made her mind pleasantly fuzzy very soon after. She downed it efficiently and ordered another one straight away - this one was to hold and sip - whilst smiling politely at Cormac's leery come-ons. It would sometimes be odd for Parvati to be alone at the bar but it was late in the night, the time when things would have gotten messy and Parvati's friends would probably have gone home with some perv they'd found on the dance floor.

Padma did a quick sweep of the club with her eyes. The Wimbourne Wasp players were not hard to spot. Cedric was standing on the periphery of the group, with a girl whose breasts were nearly falling out of her top and who was gesticulating wildly with one hand - her drink sloshing out of her glass onto Cedric's trainers as a result - and resting her other hand, for far longer than was necessary, on Cedric's chest. 

Padma watched as Cedric gave the girl a strained smile, said something to her and walked away into the crowd. She followed him with her eyes as he wandered to another part of the club, leaned against a wall and took a gulp of his beer. This was as good a chance as any.

Padma started to weave her way through the crowd to where Cedric was standing but on her way, she tottered awkwardly, cursed Parvati's ridiculous shoes, and bumped into someone as she regained her balance. Her heart thumped in her chest as she saw who it was: Theo Nott, who was holding hands with Luna. The two had been together for about a year now. 

"Apologies, Parva -" Theo Nott began.

"Hello Padma," Luna's smile was wide and warm. "I didn't know you were coming out tonight? I thought you were at Terry and Anthony’s. You hate these places." Then Luna frowned, tilting her head to the side in apparent bemusement. "You've done something to your hair."

Padma laughed, cutting and cruel, like her twin would, and hated herself for it, and for the words she said next. "You're still as loony as ever! I see why Padma loves hanging out with you so much - you're so entertaining!"

Theo frowned, his face suddenly guarded. "When did you become such a bitch?" he retorted disdainfully before walking away and pulling Luna with him. Padma could have hugged Theo for how protective he was over Luna, but she kept her face indifferent as she watched them walk away, her blonde friend looking back at her and frowning in puzzlement.

She hadn't told Luna her plan because she knew her friend would disapprove. A couple of months ago, when Parvati and Cedric had still been dating, Padma had joked to Luna about doing what she was doing now. It was meant hypothetically at the time but Luna, as with most things, took it literally. "Your soul wouldn't like it, Padma," she'd said solemnly. "It would fight against it."

There was no doubt Luna was going to question her about tonight, and she couldn't lie - not to Luna. Self-doubt suddenly rolled over Padma like a wave - what in Merlin's name was she doing? It was all wrong, this ridiculous scheme. Maybe she should just Disapparate back -

"Parvati?! Hi!" 

Suddenly, Cedric was in front of her, all beaming smile, glinting grey eyes and chiselled features. Padma felt like she was standing on a precipice and, by correcting Cedric on her identity, she would be taking a step back from the edge. That would be the right thing to do, she knew that. But Cedric was looking at her like he'd never looked at her - at Padma - before. His eyes raked up and down her body, as if he were undressing her with them. There was a longing, a wanting, a hunger in his gaze that Padma had never seen before. Her body warmed exquisitely in response to it.

"Cedric! Hey!" Padma responded with Parvati-confidence and her twin's charming smile. She'd practised it in the mirror countless time.

"How are you?" There was a restrained eagerness, a kind of bouncing enthusiasm to Cedric that, again, Padma had not been fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of before. 

"Good! Good thanks! How're you?" Padma responded. Warm but not too keen, confident but not arrogant.

"Great - it - I - it's good to see you again."

Padma knew Cedric well enough to tell he was nervous. A twisted, unwanted feeling suddenly sprung up in her, but she immediately pushed it away and focused instead on the longing she saw in his eyes. She changed her smile to 'sultry' and stepped closer to him.

"It's good to see you too. How was your game today?" 

"Good, thanks." As Cedric continued to talk about strategy, Quaffles and goals, Padma thought of her next move.

"Yes, I heard the game on the wireless," Padma said when Cedric had finished. "You played really well." This last bit was the truth - he had. But she hadn't heard it on the wireless, she'd seen it from the teams seats, were she sat every game, ready for the inevitable injury. 

"Thanks," he replied modestly. 

Always modest. And genuine. And kind. Again, Padma pushed that unwanted feeling away - guilt - that was what it was - she pushed the guilt away and stepped even closer to him. So close she could catch the scent of him and she knew he would be able to smell her too, smell Parvati's perfume.

"I've missed you," she whispered in his ear, her hand falling lightly to rest on his chest.

"I - Par - I've missed you too." Cedric managed to sound uncertain and hopeful at the same time. 

Padma slowly tilted her head down so her breath ghosted his cheek and jaw line. She flicked her eyes up over his face, monitoring his reaction - his lips were parted slightly, his eyes focused on her mouth. She dug her fingers ever so gently into the hardness of his chest and it was that movement that seemed to trigger Cedric - he closed the inch or so between them and pressed his lips to hers.

Padma had thought of this moment an impossible amount of times and the reality did not disappoint. Heat flooded her body and she felt her hand go slack against him as her muscles loosened. She pushed her mouth back onto his, firm and intense, and felt his lips part.

She desperately wanted to deepen the kiss but was aware they were in public, that strangers' eyes were often trained on the night time trysts of the Quidditch players, and that there was always a chance word could get back to Parvati that she had been apparently kissing Cedric Diggory in _ The Witching Hour _ when her twin hadn't even been on the country. 

Reluctantly, Padma pulled back from him. "Cedric," she whispered hotly in his ear. "You know what you said about fuck buddies? I think - I think that might be a good idea." Her hand, which hadn't left his chest, travelled teasingly down to his waist.

He tilted his face so he was looking her in the eyes. "Are you sure?"

Padma wasn't sure at all, but saying 'no' just then didn't feel possible. She forced a self-assured, knowing smile, and nodded.

She felt Cedric's arm wrap around her waist and pull her to him. The room started spinning, the air pushed inwards and Padma had the familiar, Disapparating sensation of falling through space. Suddenly the noise of the club had gone and they were surrounded by soft lighting. Padma was able to take in a band poster stuck to a wall and an unmade bed, and quickly surmised she was in Cedric's bedroom. She wanted to pause, to take in the room - the place he slept, where they'd be so much of _ him _ \- but Cedric was suddenly all there was in her vision and he was crashing his lips to hers again in an urgent kiss.

This was the part Padma wasn't so sure about. She knew the minute details of Parvati's appearance - how she smelled, how she moved, how she talked - but Padma did not know how Parvati kissed. Or how she fucked. That was something Padma couldn't copy. So she decided on the next best thing - to kiss and fuck like _ Padma _ did - do whatever came naturally to her - anything else could seem too false, fake. And it would be a relief to be genuine with Cedric, even in this twisted way. 

She returned the kiss hungrily as their tongues massaged against each other’s. Then there was a succession of hurried fumbling as they tugged each other's clothes off in between kisses and caresses and collapsed inelegantly onto the bed. Cedric leaned over her, his face flushed, eyes glazed and breathing uneven.

He smiled sheepishly. "I know I always say it, but you really are beautiful, Parvati." Padma blushed at the compliment and ignored the hollow feeling in her chest at the sound of her twin's name.

Cedric was a seeker but had a beater's build, broad shouldered and muscular. She ran her hands over the lines and contours of him, trying to commit him to memory. He traced a trail of kisses and nips down her neck to her breast, causing Padma to moan involuntarily and wrap her legs around his waist, using them to pull him in closer and whimpered when she momentarily felt his erection pressing against her clit.

He moved back slightly, his hand stroking firmly up her thigh and came to rest between her legs. A moan escaped her as he stroked his fingers between her legs, alternating between circling her clit and dipping his fingers inside her in teasing, tantalising movements, again and again. His touch was relentless. She started to make pleading cries as an overwhelming tension built up in her core until she finally came undone, her limbs shuddering involuntarily.

He positioned himself so he was right at her entrance and fixed his gaze on her, asking permission. She nodded - agreeing - wanting. Then he thrust forward and filled her in one delicious movement, letting out a primal grunt as he did so. She gasped his name as he moved inside her, wrapped her legs tightly around his back and scraped her nails down his spine. She arched into the touch of him, trying to communicate that she needed more.** **  
** **

"Harder," she found herself whispering in his ear. 

He paused then, stilling his movements altogether, locking her with an impenetrable gaze. His brow furrowed for an instant and something flickered in his eyes, something Padma didn't recognise. She had an odd feeling that he was deciding something. But then he was moving again, as if he'd made up his mind, harder and faster this time, both their moans mingling together until he finally came, uninhibited and hard. 

Padma stayed at Cedric's until the early hours of the next day. They had sex twice more. Once, when they both woke in the middle of the night, with Cedric's hard-on pressing into the small of her back. They wordlessly began grinding slowly against each other before he slipped into her and started fucking her from behind, unhurried and languid, her body flush with heat and muscles lose and slack.

Then later, as the blue light of dawn flooded his room, with a renewed energy and intensity. When Cedric leant over her, Padma whispered mischievously into his ear, "I want to go on top". He rolled them both over with surprising grace so Padma was straddling him. She gasped at the sensation of the new angle, his cock touching spots in her she didn't know were there.** **  
** **

Padma ignored the twisted feeling in her gut when he cried out her twin's name every time he came.

* * *

That was supposed to be it.

It was just meant to be one night, to get it...get _ him _ out of her system. But then Cedric owled her, asking to meet again. Or rather, he owled Parvati and Padma retrieved the missives when she was flat-sitting. She ignored them at first, because Parvati would have. If she had 'been' Padma, she would have sent one back, apologising, explaining she still cared about him but that she didn't think it would be right to meet again. But she was 'being Parvati' and Parvati would have ghosted.

But the owls kept coming and Padma couldn't stop thinking about Cedric’s lips, his touch, the way his cock felt inside her. Maybe it would be okay, just a second time, what harm could it do? So she went back to him.

She apparated into his hallway and immediately started undoing his trousers whilst they kissed deeply and slowly, before sinking to her knees, wrapping her lips around his cock and taking all of him in her mouth. She teased him - bringing him to the edge with her tongue and her lips and her hands, then stopping. Again. And again. Until he was begging her - begging her with the wrong name, but still begging her - not to stop...

"Let me taste you," he said when they lay in his bed a little while later, looking at her with guarded eyes as if the request were some kind of test. She nodded and he trailed a path of kisses over her breasts, his teeth grazing at one nipple on the way down her body, before reaching her clit. He relentlessly flicked his tongue over it before pressing his lips down on the bundle of nerves in an intense kiss that made her shudder. She was trembling uncontrollably by the time he pushed his tongue inside her...

She told herself there wouldn't be a third time. But then his messages changed: _ 'Parvati, I can't stop thinking about how your lips feel around my cock' _ , he'd write, or _ 'I love how you whimper and gasp out my name when you come...it makes me hard every time I remember it'...'I want to make _ you _ beg next time, Par. I want to make you come so hard you forget your own name...' _

After the third time she went to him, Padma stopped deluding herself that there wasn't going to be a next.

* * *

It had been going on for a month - sex with Cedric, the deception - and they’d been meeting two, sometimes three times a week, when he came into Padma's office at the team's headquarters, his usual broad smile plastered on his face. Padma looked up with a start from the research paper she'd been drafting. She had tried to avoid Cedric at work; it had become hard to look him in the eye as Padma.

"Hey Pads," he asked casually. "It’s lunchtime and I’m starving, wondered if you wanted to check out that new cafe around the corner?"

Padma's heart pounded in her chest. She hung out with Cedric a lot at work, and at Wimbourne Wasp socials, but they never met alone, just the two of them.

"Sure," Padma found herself answering automatically, before she had a chance to think. Then, "Why me - why lunch with me?" 

Cedric smiled, amused. "Do I need a reason?" he shrugged. "I just thought it'd be fun to hang out." 

Padma stared back at Cedric, her thoughts skittering around her mind, refusing to converge into any coherent response and with her heart pounding so loudly in her ears, she wondered if he could hear it.

"The mind techniques you taught us last training session - they really helped me focus on the last game - I was interested in learning more about them?" Cedric continued. 

This was something Padma _ could _ understand - Cedric just wanted to learn more techniques that could improve his game, that's why he wanted to meet with her alone. 

They went to a vegan cafe close to the Wimbourne grounds, all natural wooden furnishings and wholesome food. It was Cedric's choice, but Padma loved it. The conversation flowed faster than champagne after a team win. They talked about mind techniques, yes, but then about Sports Healing in general; they reminisced about Hogwarts and remembered the war. Padma had to make sure she didn't give anything away, to let slip anything Cedric might have told her when she'd met him as Parvati. Which was easier than she'd anticipated because she realised that, when she met Cedric like that, they didn't actually _ talk _ that much.

Cedric asked her to lunch a few days later, then dinner a couple of nights after that, and the two began to meet frequently over the following weeks. Their friendship deepened and it was a delightful relief for Padma to be herself around Cedric, after all the pretending. She wondered - hoped - if there was anything romantic in his intent to spend time with her, but he never made a move on her. Besides, Padma knew his desire for Parvati was far from diminishing. She knew, because she kept seeing him as Parvati too. 

"My sister told me she’s been meeting up with you," Padma-who-was-pretending-to-be Parvati said to Cedric three weeks after he had asked her for lunch, as they lay in Parvati's bed** **  
** **

"Mmm," Cedric mumbled as he softly traced a fingertip along Padma's shoulder blade. ** **  
** **

"Why?" Padma let a hint of scorn invade her voice, as Parvati would have.

She felt Cedric shrug. "I like her. I like her company," he replied matter-of-factly. Something warmed in Padma's chest.

"In what way do you like her?" she couldn't help but ask. There was a pause and Padma raised her head from where it was resting on Cedric’s chest to look at him. He was smiling bemusedly at her.

"Not jealous, are you?"** **  
** **

Padma thought - would Parvati be jealous of her? No, her twin knew she could never be a threat to her romantic interests. "Please," she said contemptuously. "My dull, frumpy, swotty little sister?"

Something unrecognisable flickered in Cedric's eyes. "You shouldn't be so harsh about your - your sister," he said gently.

His words clenched around her heart. "You're so sweet. So good," she said sadly, reaching up to kiss him on the lips. "You deserve someone better than me, you know." 

Later that night, when they both woke, him hard and her wanting, she asked him to be rough with her. He stilled, as if studying or assessing her. He could be passionate and urgent in his love-making, yes, but never naturally 'rough'.

"I want it," Padma urged and after another pause, he gave her a short nod. 

He grasped both her wrists together and held them firmly above her head as he roughly cupped her sex, the heel of his hand pressing delightfully onto her clit. 

"Tell me to stop if it gets too much," he whispered hotly in her ear.

She didn't tell him to stop. Not even when he flipped her around and started driving into her from behind, so deep and hard it hurt. Because it hurt in an exquisite, wonderful way, and the pain was a welcome distraction to the guilt and shame that had started to eat her up inside.

He still cried out Parvati's name every time he came. But he never said he loved her, which was a relief. After Parvati's reaction the last time he had, Padma could understand why.

* * *

_ So now you've been busted, you're caught feeling used / You had to do someone else / You shoulda been by yourself / Instead of here with me / Secretly _

Padma tried to stop what now felt like a double deception, but she couldn't say no to Cedric’s touch and his kisses, just as much as she couldn't say no to seeing the glint in his eyes as she made him laugh over lunch or dinner. It was as if she'd been caught in a tangled web of her own lies, irrevocably entwined in her own, deceitful silk. But at the same time she knew it couldn't, and shouldn't, last. That it would have to stop once Parvati had returned from the mission, and should really stop before. 

But even Padma, who always thought through every worse-case scenario, hadn't anticipated she would get found out in such a spectacular way. 

One morning, ten weeks after Padma had made her trip to _ The Witching Hour, _ she agreed to go to brunch with Cedric, after staying the night with him as Parvati. It was only the second time she went anywhere with him under the guise of her twin that wasn't Parvati's or his flats. The first had been a Muggle bar, a place she was sure no one they knew frequented. She had maintained the stance of ‘fuck buddies’ as an excuse to not be seen in public with Cedric. Despite Padma's initial apprehension, the café they chose for brunch was obscure and she didn't think any of their mutual acquaintances knew of it, so she thought it would be safe enough. 

They had just finished their food, when the bell above the door jingled and Padma heard a recognisable giggle, followed by an even more familiar laugh. Her stomach flipped, its contents seeming to rise in her throat, and she momentarily forgot how to breath. She froze, eyes wide, contemplating reaching over to Cedric and Disapparating them away - she could make up excuses later - but it was too late. Cedric was looking - frowning - at Parvati and Lavender as they strode up to their table. 

Parvati. Here. Now. The mission must have finished early. 

"Cedric! Hi!" Parvati greeted him, in the exact same way Padma had been doing for the past ten weeks. Then Parvati turned to Padma, her smile faltered and her brow furrowed, as she no doubt took in Padma's very Parvati-esq appearance. "Padma. Hey." Her voice was curious, her eyes searching.

But Padma could not respond because she was looking at Cedric as his gaze hastily flicked between her and her twin, his mouth slightly agape, his expression uncertain. 

"Hi, guys," Lavender gushed, then she mirrored Parvati's response as she took in Padma. But unlike Parvati, Lavender had no filter. "Why do you look like _ Parvati_?" she asked Padma scathingly.

There was an awkward silence, as Padma and Parvati eyed each other - Padma guarded, Parvati questioning. Padma could tell her twin was trying to understand why she had done her hair like Parvati did, why she was wearing her clothes and her exact shade of eye-shadow.

Surprisingly, it was Cedric that spoke next. "Hi, guys," he greeted, his casual tone breaking the tension somewhat. His puzzled expression had morphed into a relaxed smile. "Padma and I were just having brunch. We were discussing the healing and physical needs of the team for next season."

"Oh," Lavender giggled and smiled coyly. "I could probably meet some of their physical needs." 

"I'm sure you could," Cedric replied, managing to make his voice sound charming rather than sleazy.

Padma’s head jerked over to Cedric, startled and confused. She didn't understand. Why was he covering for her? 

"In fact, we probably have to go, got a training session soon," Cedric rose from the table and looked down at Padma, his face expressionless and eyes guarded. "Coming, Pads?"

"I - okay -" Padma stuttered. ** **  
** **

“Padma, owl me when you’re done,” Parvati said as Padma and Cedric headed to the exit. “I think we need to talk.”** **  
** **

“Sure,” Padma replied hastily as Cedric took her hand and wordlessly Disapparated them to his flat.

Padma slumped down onto Cedric's sofa; her knees felt too weak to stand. Her mind reeled through what had just happened. Although Cedric had looked surprised when he saw Parvati, his recovery had been too quick, too smooth.

"You knew already," she accused him gently, as he sat down next to her. "How long have you known?"** **  
** **

"That you’ve been Padma and not Parvati?"** **  
** **

"Yes."** **  
** **

"Since the first time we fucked," Cedric explained, his voice soft. "Your performance was spot on until then. I was totally convinced. The kiss felt different but I didn't think much of it," Cedric shifted uncomfortably on the sofa, his tone apologetic. "But the way you fuck, Padma, it’s so different to your sister."

Padma's mind swam as she tried to take all this in. Absurdly, her first reaction was:_ Great, she was a shit shag _ . But then, if it had been that bad, why had he kept coming back for more? ** **  
** **

"How so?" Out of all the questions she could ask him, all the things they needed to talk about, she knew this question was somewhat ridiculous. ** **  
** **

"Parvati fucks like a princess. And that’s not a compliment. You know, there was one time she paused proceedings, said she wanted to change position but I’m sure she just wanted to rearrange her hair. She was always so self-aware, never totally let go. She wouldn't let me go down on her. Said she thought it was gross. Which is fine, of course, her choice, but...you were so different."

Padma memories and thoughts shifted, like pieces fitting into a puzzle and she remembered Cedric's assessing, testing looks the first time they'd had sex. 

"You, on the other hand, fuck like an animal," Cedric continued, leaning forward and tucking a strand behind her ear, his voice low and thick. "And I love it. The way you get lost in it - in me...how you make those desperate, pleading noises..."** **  
** **

Padma flushed at Cedric's words as he rested a hand on her knee. "So - why - why didn’t you say anything?"

"I know you Pads, more than you probably realise. I've always liked you. I admired your quiet studiousness at Hogwarts. I still have that 'get well' card you sent me at St Mungo’s. And when you needed to stick your neck out, you did, like the way you resisted the Carrows during the war. That was brave. Admirable. So, when I realised who you really were - that first time in my bedroom - it was hard to stop because, well, we were mid-shag for one thing," Cedric huffed a self-deprecating laugh. "But also, I knew you wouldn't do what you were doing out of malice. I was curious - I wondered - I kind of guessed that maybe it was the only way you felt you could be with me. And then the sex was...it was fucking great and I found it really hard to not come back for more, and I started to like you - as in _ you_, Padma. I wanted to get to know you more...so I asked you out for coffee."

"But why didn't you say anything _ then_?" 

"I thought if I outed you, you’d be embarrassed, that you'd run away. And I didn’t want that. You didn’t think you were good enough as Padma...I had to wait until you felt you were."

Padma let his words sink in, thinking about how true they were. She _ would _ have run away, out of shame and guilt and embarrassment. It's what she felt like doing right then.

"Why did you cry out her name - every time?"

"I - I _ wanted _ to say your name. Sometimes I almost did. In the moment, I have to cry out something. It was so hard, really hard to not say your name. I’d say her name but in my head I’d be crying yours," Cedric frowned dejectedly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let it go on so long."

Padma cringed at Cedric's words. "It's not you that should be apologising," she protested bitterly. "I'm the one that deceived _ you_. I'm the one in the wrong. It wasn't right what I did. I'm sorry I lied to you. Even though you knew all along - it still wasn't right. You wanted someone else, you should have had time to be by yourself, to get over her, instead of being with me, secretly. You love her -"

"I don't love her, Padma. I never did. I _ thought _ I did. But that was just - infatuation. I know now - because I know what _ real _ love feels like."

At his words, it was as if something that had been knotted tightly inside Padma for who-knew-how long was loosening and unfurling. "What do you mean?" Her voice was so tentative it came out a whisper. 

But instead of answering, Cedric leant forward and told her with his lips instead. And Padma let him. There were still so many words that had remained unspoken between them but maybe right then, their caress, the touch of their lips - maybe that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Your comments and kudos are cherished and treasured.


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